[Faze]

Since there apparently isnt any 'PC' board in this category, I'm simply going to break the barrier and review one of the most classicest PC games of all time, Carmageddon.

Carmageddon
Year: 1997
Platform: PC
Creator: Interplay and SCI

Arguably the best racing game, period.

Carmageddon takes place in a futuristic dystopia of 2030, where apparently, the future looks bleak. Some industrial corporation called 'Magnachem' somehow managed to turn the entire pacific ocean into a piss colored acid sea. The police have upped their vehicles into tank-like mechinizations in order to help stop the carnage that is about to ensue. Even the beaches have a feel that many people had sex and forgot to clean up after themselves. Yes, this is the future, and like a boot stamping on your face forever, it looks and feels dirty. It is America after all.

Alright, enough of the setting, lets get to the gameplay... In Carmageddon, players race in a number of locales, including the city of the near future, an industrial complex, a mine, a beach, and for some reason, Somewhere in Arizona that has a pyramid on it. People get points/time by going through checkpoints, collecting bonus cans, running over pedestrians, and bashing other vehicles into oblivion.

Unlike EA, the billboards do not include advertisements for Old Spice and Cingular Wireless... there are slight references to modified Ferarris and station wagons and whatnot... but that's normal.

This game is arguably the best racing game out there... sure you can win by going through checkpoints like a normal person, but you can also win by beating all your opponents into oblivion. If you are the adventurous type, you can see if you can find and run over ALL the pedestrians on the map... unless of course your opponent wastes one of them and there isnt a 'pedestrian respawn' can around. That brings me to another fun aspect of the game, the random 'cans' of bonuses strewn across the track. These can range from time bonuses, to other fun things, like the 'instant handbrake' for example. Yea, let's see Mario Kart try to copy the 'solid granite car' or 'pinball mode' bonuses.

As for the soundtrack, it's mostly industrial metal. Fear Factory's 'Demanufacture' industrial metal. Total kickass.

As much as the game kicks ass, there are still a couple things to gripe about. First of all, the teal pedestrian cars are indestructable... and the police can get really nasty earlier on in the game.

There's also times where the game would inexplicably crash for no reason whatsoever. like when you are in the middle of a race for example... also, since this game runs in Ms-Dos, running this game in XP/Vista wont work since XP dos sucks monkeyballs... YEA... I BELIEVE THERE IS A PATCH FOR THIS GAME, like THAT'LL ever happen. ha ha ha ha ha ha oh wow!

of course christians, soccermoms, and Germany have risen in arms with their insipid and repetitive 'this game causes violence' arguments. Yea, ok... so the game is violent... is this bitching really necessary? what's your point mom? In fact, this bitching also caused Nintendo to release the unforgivable Carmageddon 64... a true sign that the series has ventured off course.

This game was rated: fucktastic
Mood I was in: RAGE

Out of 5 stars

Enemy AI: **** (Agression is what I love)
Voiceovers: **** (Even though the only VA was that of the announcer, and he sounded bad... COME ON, THIS WAS 1997!)
Storyline: *** (A bunch of racers battling it out in a futuristic wasteland? Who needs a storyline?)
Vehicle Selection: *****
Vehicle Customization: *** (only for the armor/engine/rollcage upgrades, that's all you need.)
Graphics: **** (From a 1997 point of view... even though these graphics are seriously dated 10 years later...)
Cutscenes: **** The cutscenes are not bad, granted you have enough luck TRYING TO SEE THEM.
Track Layout: *****
Soundtrack: ***** (Fear factory FTW)
Replayability: *****
Fun Factor: ***** (damn rights five stars!)
Special Features: n/a
Multiplayer: n/a
Online playability: n/a

Overall Rating: 4 1/2 out of 5

Special ratings:

Times I wished Windows XP would fix it's MSDOS: 754
Times the game inexplicibly crashed for some reason: 3522
Times I wished the pedestrian cars were destructable: 21
Times I thought Wanda's pic looked stupid: 7
Tracks where you can beat and unlock the supercopcar: 1
Attempts to unlock supercopcar: 4
Times I felt glad that getting ranked #1 gives you access to all the cars in the game: 35
Times I thought of the future of mankind being like carmageddon: 56
Times I thought of falling into a sea of piss: 14
Years I've been playing this game: Since I got the game in 2000... YEAAAHHH

Times I might play this game again: I still play the game occasionally
Would you rent this to another person? yes, go get the game now... especially if you are tired of playing Mario Kart or Crash Team Racing

[Draugen]

I loved Carmageddon, but when I went back to play it about a year or two back, everything looked way crappier than I had imagined it to be. Still a fun game, but it's a bit outdated.

[locken]

Had it on the N64 shortly after release, was a VERY fun game. I'm gonna pick it up soon, methinks.

[Draugen]

locken, on Dec 16th 2007, 6:25 pm, said:

Had it on the N64 shortly after release, was a VERY fun game. I'm gonna pick it up soon, methinks.

Carmageddon 64? That was arguably the worst game of all time.

Apart from Big Rigs, that is.

[Faze]

Indeed. The PC version is far superior.

[ailj168]

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